Saturday, August 13, 2011

Sexy, hot girls in nightclub warn of physical injuries to manhood

[Pixs of models for illustration purpose only]

“Please be patient,“ said Mamasan Lulu to Hussein. "Your regular hostess, Wati, will be slightly late; why not order some snacks and drinks first?”

“Yes, I'm ravishing,” said GRO Jessica, displaying the shape of her erect nipples beneath her tight silk-and-lace dress. The V-line of her panty could also be seen as she bent over to pick up a food menu from under a coffee table.

“Order anything you want, Jessica,” said Chow Kah, seated next to her. “Hmmm...the tempura and sushi look tempting...will be great with Asahi.”

Minutes later, Chow Kah, Jessica, Hussein and I were nibbling away at the finger food, when the door of the VIP karaoke room opened and entered Wati.

“Sorry, for being late, Hussein.” Wati apologized. “My poor old atuk [grandpa] is in Tawakal hospital. Kasihan...I just visited him there.”

The sight of her gladdened Hussein’s eyes. “What happened to him?”

“The poor man fractured his zakar [manhood]; he’s already 65 years old.”

‘What?!” I was shocked. Chow Kah was skeptical; on the other hand, Hussein was tickled and smirked cheekily.

“How can such a thing happen?” Chow Kah asked, wiping his hands with a hot towel after popping a crab stick into his mouth.

Wati slumped next to Hussein on the sofa. As she did, her ample buttocks strained the fabrics of her shorts. She picked up a piece of sushi roll and bit a small piece off. “Last night, while having sexual intercourse with his third wife, my atuk [grandpa] was thrusting vigorously -- obviously, he had taken Tongkat Ali already,” she said. “His young wife was on top of him. He missed his aim and hit her pubic bone instead! There was a cracking sound on impact; he screamed in pain. The erection came down and his penis turned purplish.

“His isteri muda [young wife] rushed him to the hospital. According to the doctor, the erectile chamber of the penis had suffered something like a tyre blowout; blood had flowed under the skin of the penis, causing the organ to change colour.”

“You men should be careful while having intercourse or during foreplay; for instance, avoid rolling in bed with an erection,” advised Jessica, crossing her leg to expose an expanse of milky thigh. “Actually, I personally know of another case; it happened a few years back. My 60-year old uncle had happily taken a 25-year old China-doll to Genting Highlands for the night. After having taken Viagra, he was walking around in the room in the dark. He’d very bad eyesight and wasn’t wearing his specs. His penis hit a closet like a battering ram. BAM! A broken penis! He was sent in an ambulance to a KL hospital all the way from Genting; a spoiled lusty holiday...What a shame.”

Wati cracked some groundnuts. “Actually, these are rare cases,” she said. "According to my niece who works as a nurse in the KL General Hospital, the most common cause of penile injury is the organ getting caught in zippers; often happens to children."

I offered to share some medical knowledge. “Guys, also remember never to consume sex-enhancing drugs sold by roadside peddlers in Haji Taib. They can cause priapism – meaning the blood cannot drain from the penis. An erection lasting more than four hours is a sign of trouble. My doctor said the victim should try one of the following: sit in a warm bath and try to relax.

“Second, try to ejaculate, either by masturbation or with a partner; third, take a cough mixture containing ephedrine or epinephrine. These substances can cause the blood vessels to shrink, and cause the erection to go away. If all fails, go to a hospital.”

“How to find out if a cough mixture contains those substances?” asked Chow Kah.

“Simple, just ask the pharmacist."

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